Jim Liebelt's Youth Culture Watch

Parenting Practices in Teen Years Set the Stage for Closeness, Warmth Later On

The following is excerpted from an online article posted by ScienceDaily.

High-quality parenting practices in adolescence lay the foundation for close parent-child relationships when the children become young adults, according to new research from Penn State.

The study is one of the first to examine how changes in parental involvement, parental warmth, and effective discipline during adolescence predict the quality of the relationships between parents and their young adult children, said Greg Fosco, professor of human development and family studies and associate director of the Edna Bennett Pierce Prevention Research Center at Penn State, who was co-principal investigator on the study.

The study's findings were published recently in Developmental Psychology. The research team surveyed 1,631 participants in a long-term research study of families in rural and semi-rural Pennsylvania and Iowa who completed surveys between sixth and 12th grades and again at age 22.

"Our research showed that parenting can change a lot during the teenage years: parents often express less warmth and affection, spend less time with their teens, and become more harsh in their discipline. Parents that were able to maintain positive parenting and involvement laid the foundation for a close relationship when their teens became adults," said Fosco.

Based on the study's findings, he suggested these activities:

• Do something together, like playing sports, bike riding, exercising, going for a walk, gaming, cooking, attending events, or going out for a meal or dessert.
• Work on a project together around the house.
• Talk about what's going on at school.
• Discuss what you want to do in the future.

Further, adolescents who experienced higher levels of parental warmth in the early teen years reported feeling more closeness and warmth with mothers and fathers when they were in their 20s, Fosco said.

The study also found that parents who were skilled at using effective discipline with their sixth-grade children -- and maintained these effective practices over the course of adolescence -- had less conflictual relationships when their children were in their 20s.

Source: ScienceDaily
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2022/10/221004213343.htm

Parenting: Yelling at Teens Can Backfire

What can parents do to rear a teen who is well-behaved, happy and respectful?

A tactic that doesn't work is broadly called harsh verbal discipline, whether that's shouting at teens, yelling, screaming, swearing, insulting or calling them names, says a study out today. In fact, those parenting actions increase the risk that the adolescent will misbehave and suffer symptoms of depression.

Shouting and yelling are ineffective and can be harmful, says study's author Ming-Te Wang, assistant professor in the department of psychology and the school of education at the University of Pittsburgh. "This may explain why so many parents say that no matter how loud they shout, their teenagers don't listen."

Wang and colleagues studied 967 two-parent families and their teens in Pennsylvania.

Thirteen-year-olds who received a lot of harsh verbal discipline from their parents were more likely to have symptoms of depression at age 14, according to the findings published in the journal Child Development. They were also more likely to exhibit problem behaviors such as anger, aggression, vandalism and misconduct, Wang says.

Ongoing harsh verbal discipline and criticism can fuel difficulties and rebellion in kids, says Neil Bernstein, an adolescent psychologist in Washington, D.C., and author of How to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do if You Can't. "Extremes of parenting don't work. The put-down parent is no more effective than the laissez-faire parent who is totally chill and sets no limits on their children's behavior," said Bernstein.

Source: USA Today
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/09/04/teen-behavior-parents-discipline/2724361/

Laptop Shooting Dad Says He'd Do It Again

Tommy Jordan, angry dad from North Carolina, became an overnight Internet folk hero for meting out gunslinging justice to his rebellious 15-year-old, who had recently posted a disrespectful update on her Facebook page.  On Thursday night, he posted the act of discipline on his daughter's Facebook wall, and on YouTube. By Monday morning, a stunning 21.4 million people had watched it -- far more than watch an episode of “American Idol”or even NBC's “Today” show.

While  experts interviewed by msnbc.com were highly critical of the public nature of the discipline, the vast majority of parents expressed enthusiastic approval for Jordan, most pointing out that it's high time "someone stood up to these spoiled kids."  An unscientific poll of 93,000 voters on Today.com found 74 percent agreed with Jordan's brand of discipline.

He was also visited by the police and Child Protective Services during the weekend. "Of course they came. They received enough ‘Oh my god he's going to kill his daughter’ comments that they had to," he wrote. He made light of the visits, however.  The police congratulated him, he said, and one officer added that he planned to use the video in presentations he does for the school system.

Despite the surprising notoriety, Jordan said he'd do it all over again in a statement designed to answer questions posed by reporters. “If I had it to do again... let's see... I'd do it almost the same," he wrote on his Facebook page in a note addressed to Anita Li of the Toronto Star. He wouldn't be smoking in the video, he said, then added, "I'd have worn my Silverbelly Stetson, not my Tilley hat, if I'd known that image was going to follow me the rest of my life and I'd probably have cleaned my boots. That's it."

"To answer 'Why did you reprimand her over a public medium like Facebook' my answer is this: Because that’s how I was raised. If I did something embarrassing to my parents in public (such as a grocery store) I got my tail tore up right there in front of God and everyone, right there in the store. I put the reprisal in exactly the same medium she did, in the exact same manner," Jordan wrote.

Source: MSNBC
http://redtape.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/13/10397269-laptop-shooting-dad-after-21-million-views-says-hed-do-it-over-again

 

Judge Has Harsh Words for Mom Before Sentencing Her for Spanking Kid

A judge in Corpus Christi, Texas had some harsh words for a mother charged with spanking her own child before sentencing her to probation.

"You don't spank children today," said Judge Jose Longoria. "In the old days, maybe we got spanked, but there was a different quarrel. You don't spank children."

Rosalina Gonzales had pleaded guilty to a felony charge of injury to a child for what prosecutors had described as a "pretty simple, straightforward spanking case." They noted she didn't use a belt or leave any bruises, just some red marks.

As part of the plea deal, Gonzales will serve five years probation, during which time she'll have to take parenting classes, follow CPS guidelines, and make a $50 payment to the Children's Advocacy Center.

She was arrested back in December after the child's paternal grandmother noticed red marks on the child's rear end. The grandmother took the girl, who was two years-old at the time, to the hospital to be checked out.

Source: VolunteerTV
http://www.volunteertv.com/national/headlines/Mom_pleads_guilty_to_spanking_own_child_124072014.html

Teens Do Better With Parents Who Set Limits

An article from USA Today points out findings of various studies that demonstrate teens do better when they have parents who set and enforce boundaries.

Here's some good news for parents of tweens and teens: You rule.

That may be hard to believe sometimes. And it's true kids won't always follow your health and safety rules. But studies show parents who keep setting boundaries make a huge difference. In other words, "parenting works," even for teens, says Alanna Levine, a pediatrician in Tappan, N.Y., and spokeswoman for the American Academy of Pediatrics.

The latest example: a survey on media use by the Kaiser Family Foundation. It found that typical kids ages 8 to 18 spend an astounding 7 hours and 38 minutes a day consuming entertainment media, drinking deeply from the fire hose of TV, computers, game consoles, cellphones, music players and other devices (while occasionally glancing at books and other non-electronic media). Many experts, including the pediatrics academy, consider that much screen time bad for mental and physical health.

But the study also found that kids whose parents set any time or content limits were plugged in for three hours less each day. "Parents can have a big influence," says Kaiser researcher Vicky Rideout.

And it doesn't stop with screen time...

Source: USA Today
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/painter/2010-02-08-yourhealth08_ST_N.htm

Never Spanking Kids Might Be Worse Than Spanking

New research called Portraits of American Life is underway, and it involves interviews of 2,600 people and their adolescent children every three years for the next 20 years. Dr. Marjorie Gunnoe is working with the first wave of data on the teens. It turns out that almost a quarter of these teens report they were never spanked. Gunnoe discovered a shocker in the data: those who’d been spanked just when they were young—ages 2 to 6—were doing a little better as teenagers than those who’d never been spanked. On almost every measure. A separate group of teens had been spanked until they were in elementary school. Their last spanking had been between the ages of 7 and 11. These teens didn’t turn out badly, either. Compared with the never-spanked, they were slightly worse off on negative outcomes, but a little better off on the good outcomes. Only the teenagers who were still being spanked clearly showed problems.

Source: Newsweek
http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/nurtureshock/archive/2009/12/30/never-been-spanked.aspx

Teen Brain: Adult Reasoning Capacity, Emotional Maturity Not So Much

If you have or have had teens at home or work with them, there is absolutely no surprise in this new study's finding that their emotional maturity development lags behind their reasoning capacity.

From a physiological standpoint, this study seeks to provide more understanding into the developing teen brain. From a practical standpoint, quite simply teens are "rookie" adults. They need time, guidance, and experiences to help them move toward maturity. It's worthwhile to note that teens are prone to experimentation and making some poor choices along the way.

Parents can mitigate some of the negative consequences by equipping teens with decision making skills including helping them learn to evaluate outcomes of different choices, and by providing loving support, appropriate discipline, along with lots of patience and grace.

A 16-year-old might be quite capable of making an informed decision about whether to end a pregnancy – a decision likely to be made after due consideration and consultation with an adult – but this same adolescent may not possess the maturity to be held to adult levels of responsibility if she commits a violent crime, according to new research into adolescent psychological development.

"Adolescents likely possess the necessary intellectual skills to make informed choices about terminating a pregnancy but may lack the social and emotional maturity to control impulses, resist peer pressure and fully appreciate the riskiness of dangerous decisions," said Laurence Steinberg, PhD, a professor of developmental psychology at Temple University and lead author of the study. "This immaturity mitigates their criminal responsibility."

Steinberg and his co-authors address this seeming contradiction in a study showing that cognitive and emotional abilities mature at different rates.

The findings appear in the October issue of American Psychologist, published by the American Psychological Association.

Source: ScienceDaily
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/10/091007153745.htm

Parent or a Pal? Parents Are Conflicted

According to data from the 2007 Partnership Attitude Tracking Study (PATS), released by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, some parents feel conflicted in parenting their teens because they value having a strong friendship with their child. Parents’ wish to be their child’s friend and their reluctance to set rules and limits for their kids increases dramatically during the middle school years.

PATS found 36 percent of parents with kids in grades 6th-8th agree “it is very important to me that my child consider me a friend” compared to 20 percent of parents with children in 4th-5th grades.

Parents of middle school kids (6th -8th grades) are more likely than parents of elementary school children (4th-5th grades) to agree that:

I have a hard time saying “no” to my child when he/she wants to do something or go somewhere I have doubts about (37 percent vs. 18 percent).

It’s hard to tell my child not to do something if all of his/her friends’ parents allow them to do it or if other parents approve (40 percent vs. 19 percent).

Source: Businesswire
http://www.businesswire.com/portal/site/google/?ndmViewId=news_view&newsId=20080611005251&newsLang=en

This is a difficult area for some parents. The desire to have a close relationship (friendship) with children as they grow older can become a more important priority than equipping them to become responsible adults. Yet, the latter is the larger priority. A parent's job is not to be their child's best friend. Adolescence is a season of life where kids need their parents to provide guidance, and consistent discipline to help them mature into responsible adulthood. This of course, can create tension between parents and kids. It's not uncommon for parents to feel "unliked' by their kids when they employ loving, steady-handed discipline with their teens. As much as this may make a parent feel uncomfortable, it's okay. As kids reach adulthood, they'll typically come around and the friendship relationship can grow.

Who Said Parenting Was Easy?

Sure, there have always been a kid here and there who has acted out dramatically, even violently, when their parents forbid them from doing something. But, this news item hits me because of the uniqueness made possible by today's culture (an all-to-common violent outburst by a teen, in this case over being banned from using the Internet).

Police: Teen Says He Killed Dad Over Internet Ban

A Mesa, AZ teenager says he fatally shot his father last month because he wouldn't let him use the Internet, police reports show.

According to a Mesa police report released Wednesday, 15-year-old Hughstan Schlicker told a homicide detective that he considered committing suicide in front of his father after finding a 12-gauge shotgun and ammunition in the garage of their home, but decided to murder his father instead and then commit suicide.

Hughstan apparently surprised 49-year-old Ted Schlicker, who was standing in the kitchen when the boy approached him from behind, the police report said.

Hughstan told detectives that he used the Internet to communicate with his friends and since his father took the Internet away, he was "just so depressed all the time," the report said.

Source: USA Today
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-03-06-az-internet-killing_N.htm